Sunday, May 02, 2010

ATTESTATION...

It was a lazy day(as usual)..I heard the usual alarm that alarms without giving any key previous night or whose volume i can't reduce,which I cant snooze..If you are in the same condition as mine ,don't think too hard..The alarm is no one other than ma AMMA..everyday I wake up with her "anu enikkkkkkkkkkuuuuu(anu wake..up)..."..And the most unfortunate case is that I get dreams only in the early morning..I would be smiling or crying in the dream..And suddenly ma amma's call would kick me out of ma dream when I get up, feeling that ma heart is thumping at an alarming rate...Devangelic once asked me"at what time do u wake up in the morning?"..I said "It depends "..Devangelic again asked "depends upon what?"..I said "It depends upon me":):):)..
                I had to attest ma certificates for an interview...I woke up,got ready and headed to the gusseted officer...It was a hospital and I had to get attestation from the doctor there...The moment I entered the gate,I could get the nasty smell of medicines and phenol...I sat in the chair there,arranged ma certificates in order and went into the building..I could sense the odour ,the hospital odour or smell nearing ma nose..There was a young lady who raised her brows to me as if asking "What the hell do u want ?"..I was the most humblest creature on the earth at that moment and I spoke out in  a feeble voice "Got to attest..Is the doctor in ?"..She gave me a weird look and said "Go in and ask if she can do it ?"..What the hell?Did I ask her to give me her MBBS?God !!!!!I went in ...
            Not again..The smell of phenol pierced ma nose deep down to ma pharynx and throat..I looked around..There were posters for TB and leprosy  patients stating out the symptoms and various levels of treatments..I read every line carefully and checked if I had any of those symptoms...NAA..I am free..Thank God...
                I had ma eyes off the posters  that I saw 3 pair of eyes staring at me..it was of 2 women and 1 man..The women were pregnant and the man was one of the women's hubby..I thought..Might be they have come for checkups..And then I understood the meaning of the stare they gave me...NO NO..neither am pregnant nor am here to abort..NAA..I took out ma certificates and put it on the bench on which I was sitting so that they could read that...The couple went inside first..And then the other woman..
                      I saw the immunization room and  was so curious to see what was going on inside..As I got up and marched forward  i saw the woman coming out..So it was ma chance..I went in ..It was a lady doctor..I examined the lady..She wore a nose ring and it suited her face..I wished to have her stethoscope around ma neck so that i could hear ma heart beat..She looked at me and asked "what?"..Ma same words"Wanted to attest"and I took out ma certificates and she gave ma fiery stare and asked "This much?"..I sheepishly smiled and answered "yes.."
           I saw the least interesting woman in this world then..She was signing it just for the sake of doing it and meanwhile to escape from her looks I looked everywhere else in the room..Saw  charts of  reproduction, immunization,diet charts,diabetic analysis charts and many more. There were piles of files on her table about which I felt nice.Ma mom always used to shout at  me for the cleanliness of ma room..Any one could get nails,paper pins,camera,books ,papers,paper planes and ma Amma says that she would catch a snake from ma room 1 day if this condition persists..he he..:):)
                             "OH NOOOOOOOOOOO"...I startled to see why the lady doctor is yelling..God damn!She had signed on ma original mark-list of ma sixth semester..I didn't know what to do then CRY or LAUGH??..She was asking me "What to do now?It was a bundle of mark-lists..No other doctor would agree to such an attestation..I had told everyone just to give me the marklists needed..No originals..You see what happened!!!!!!!!"..GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....She was getting on ma nerves..Not only did she signed on ma originals and above that  she was blaming me and giving justifications for that...If ma heart had a loud speaker,she would have had a heart attack listening to whatever i had in ma heart then...*/%&*@#-**//
 She finished her job and I said "thanks a lot"and I came out,got the seal and I walked out..Completing the posts with a few embarrassing medical exams mails i got now..


1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . .
'My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab.' 
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress and began to take off her underwear.
       
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - -
and I was in the wrong one.
 

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald,
San Francisco
 
2... At the beginning of my shift 
I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
 
and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
 

'Big breaths,'. . .  I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,
Seattle , WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad
news when I told a wife that her husband had
died of a massive myocardial infarct.

Not more than five minutes later, I heard her
reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

and this one is ultimate...

Baby's First Doctor Visit 

 I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed, ' she replied...

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.

 She did. He pinched her breasts , pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both  for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

 Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

‘I know,’ she said, ‘I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came.......’

4 comments:

Jidhu Jose said...

neram velukkumbol swapnam kanunnathu muzhuvan nadakkumenna parayunnathu

sangita said...

@jidhu: hehe..nadakkatennu...:):)

Uncommon Sense said...

he he jokes were funny,, and what u plan to do with ur signed originals...

sangita said...

@uncommon sense:Hav 2 do smtg...She signed on one original marklist only!!!!!!!fortunately!!!!!!!