Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Emotional Atyachaar !!

"Once I go to Kerala, then you, you would realize my value!! My
worth!! ..then you would miss me , regret ,cry for me ... I would be
in Palakkad enjoying my days to the core with my parents and cousins,
having delicious and mouthwatering foods and delicacies !! Dekhna !!
" ..The words that I told V whenever we had a silly fight in Mumbai !!
The moment I reached Palakkad ,all those words got vaporized ..I
started missing V..Whenever I switch on TV, all songs were meant for
me ,the ' dardbare gaaney ' ... even movies didn't spare me.. Devdas ,
Om Shanti Om were all written for this phase of mine it seems
..Remember the ' O re Deva.. Oh re Piya...' Can you imagine ??? I
cried watching the floppest movie of the time "We are family " when Kajol
in it talked about her hubby and her love for him ...I realized this
phase has taken out the emotional me in a drastic way ... Yes...
Emotional Atyaachaar !!!
The climate here is driving me insane!! Huh huaa hot hot hot !!
Imagine 40 degrees.. Sweaty panting thirsty days followed by 'thecchu
kuli' (bath in ayurvedic oil known as kuzhambu / tailams accompanied
by HAWWT water shower) in the evening which is made compulsory by Amma
for me which adds up to the heat content!! Yuck is the word ...
I do text and call V like anything these days because I miss him like
anything... I called him and cried "Take me back.. I don't want to
be here.. I just want to be with you .. I feel so lonely without you
and it sucks MAN !!" ...V laughed for a while and said "
Ndokeyayirunnu veeravadangal??? " ( Huh what all were your heroic
mighty challenges to me and now see what's happening ??") ..and later
consoled " Its for our baby na ? I will come soon to take you and our
baby with me ..Now smile ok ? Be cheerful as always " ..But I could go
upto "You miss me no? You think of me no? " ...HMMMM.... Counting days
now... It takes about 100 + days to reach my due date and to meet around 15 weeks ... Patience is the keyword!!!
Yesterday evening I got an SMS from V " I am not feeling well ,
nothing interesting , feeling lonely without you , no fun, no interest
in anything , I miss and Love you a lot ..Yours always V"... I jumped
off from my seat like Kajol in Kucch Kucch Hota hein; you know the
'saatve aasman par effect when Rahul confesses his love to Anjali and
the happiness Anjali felt?? ' , a lil later I realized that the
message is incomplete and yet to be delivered in full ...It got
delivered within 1 minute- V had written " I wanted to send this to
you , but by mistake I did send this to my Gujarati counterpart ,
Shonali instead of you ... " It was followed by the movie ''Bhool
Bulaiyya " with me playing the lead role of Vidya , singing and
dancing to " Ami De Tomaar ..Chin Chin Chin "

Friday, March 16, 2012

Back to God's Own Country , Thoughts and news, My numbed Senses...

Oye...I have landed in
Kerala... God's own country...Journey was quite good...My fellow
passengers were very good and friendly...We had a good time chit
chatting with the aunties there... A post would be dedicated to them
later...Love you aunties for giving us such a good time and such a
comforting company throughout our journey...

The moment I reached
home, I got fresh and sat with the newspaper with a cup of tea...Read
an article about the Soumya murder case... Remember Soumya, a
23-year-old woman commuter of Ernakulam-Shoranur passenger train
(56608) found in an unconscious state in woods near the Vallathol
Nagar Railway Station on February 1 between 9-30 p.m. and 10 p.m by
one bloody b*****d , the one handed Govindachamy, 30, of
Virudhachalam in Cuddalore.On February 6, she became a memory, a
framed glass adorned with poomaalas , dhoopsticks, lighted lamps and
diyas ??? It had numbed the senses of all women in the country...I had
read about this incident when I was in Mumbai...

For days I used to
think about her , the financial situation of her family where she was
the only source of income...the irreplaceable loss to those parents
who might have not slept peacefully even for a night, her friends ,
her dreams she had waved for own house, much better job, better
tomorrow, her marriage, her kids ..Everything was shattered within 30
minutes of her journey back home to Shornur...All because of...What...
her non defensive act and inability to resist the beast ? The poor
safety precautions followed by the Railway authorities for women/
ladies? Cos she was in the deserted compartment, not able to pull the
chain in the train? So many questions ...Or only questions and
absolutely no proper answers...The only answer remains...She is no
more in this world and the murderer still lives in the Kannur central
jail serving the death sentence with a series of his comic acts
performed on a day to day basis...

He had observed fast
for about a day... It was broken by him, when the jail authorities
served the other jail mates mutton biriyani in front of his cell and
when he could no longer carry the fast...Anna Hazare in the making
ladies and gentlemen ??!! He is violent towards the authorities now
and even broke the attached camera, peed in the tumbler given for
having water and hurled it towards the authorities , act of suicide in
his dhoti , compulsion to be moved to Poojappura central jail, need
for his biriyani, and more performances in the coming days
..HMMM...What can I say...Another Kasab in the making?? My BP gets
higher...Shoot him with an AK 47 people...Hurl stones at that mad
dog!! Poison him!!Burn him alive!! Let him remember the cries of that
poor girl who would have begged him for letting her alive SPARE
HER, TO JUST LET HER LIVE!!! Let no one follow his footsteps...You
know why...the baby am about to give birth would have to face this
world...Not only me...All the babies, youth and the aged ..You guys
tell me how can I assure my baby's/ any baby's future/ safety in this
land?? This dog's own country...the land of beasts and man
hunters...the land of corruption, lame politics, black money ,flesh
trades, rape, murder and God..How come Kerala got its name Gods own
Country...You tell me...Where god's own daughters are not safe? Where
they can't travel fearlessly in a train for a night? Where parents
wait with a double pounding heart when their aged daughters don't get
back home by 6 PM? Where they can't go for late night shift jobs? Who
can't return from their jobs even during the day time??Tell me
people... Tell me God...I need an answer ... I am lost...Out of
words...Let me breathe for a while...

PS: 1. I understand friends, not only Kerala the entire world is Dog's
own country now... and like my mother says 'One man / woman can't
change the world..Even Anna Hazare ... '

2. I am not a feminist...Have not burnt bras/ have no intention of
doing it. Completely respect men and women equally...Firmly believes
in 'No man is complete w/o a woman & no woman is complete w/o a
man...Somehow, somewhere they have to be together in some spheres of
life ...'

Info Courtesy : The Hindu, Mathrubhumi , Manorama newspapers ..

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Back to blogosphere ...

                                    We stay in the seventh floor .
Almost everyday ,from one of the flats in the sixth floor of my
apartment I do hear the cries , laughter ,complaints ,chit chats of a
naughty boy with his family. Though I haven' t seen him / his family ,
we , i and my amma have got used to his talks , the time when he comes
back from school , the time when he goes out playing , his complaints
to his mother aloud from the park about other boys not giving him
turns for swings,slides,merry go rounds etc have made him closer to us
.. I haven't seen him yet , but amma has seen him as once he had
complained to her ,thinking that amma is his friend's mother .
                                   Hmm..all these feelings towards
kids.. Like never before.. Why..You know the feeling when a person who
never ever noticed kids /children suddenly thinks about them.. For the
first time in her life , watches all the baby product advertisements
while surfing channels .. Yeah you guessed it right.. Am a mommy to be
now  :):):P.. So happy feeling with loads of excitement and curiosity
!! Pray for me friends .. Bless us for a healthy baby..No gender bias
for us  ..Praying for a healthy baby.. :) :)
Huh happiness at home .. When for the first time I got positive in my
urine test , I messaged V about it to which he replied "Yippeee am
excited " , when the gyno confirmed he is a dad to be , back home when
he asked me ' You know I feel all these film moments of pregnancy news
within couples are true ' and when he asked me " Uuhh should/can  i
lift you? " to which I said " hmm Yeah " and even he too started
watching baby commercials and responds " You know our kid would do all
these , jumping ,cuddling ,pooping and stuff .. " .. That's when I
realise how much the 'daddy to be ' phase he is in ..the dreams he has
mended for his blood, part of his being..his never ending talks about
the best diapers, pant style diapers , the chubby kiddo he saw in the
lift the day before, his colleague's kid stories ..he could go on and
Back home at Kerala , my inlaws , mom in law is the most excited woman
on being a acchamma (granny ) to be , my parents , amma took the next
flight to take care of me , has nothing in her mind except my food,my
sleep, my meds , ayurveda pre natal treatments , my needs , my
delivery , post delivery care etc etc ..Acchan asking me to take
protein, supplements , fibres etc... My cousins who all are new mommas
giving me tips and tricks to lose the baby fat I have put on ,exercise
I should do ,mode of delivery , docs to consult , friends asking me if
my tummy has bulged more , is the kid boy / girl , the feelings ,
vomiting , food ,docs etc ..HOH...You know the pressure that a
pregnant lady goes through.. So much a family expects a new member in
the family ..
And now back to me , I had vomiting till last month.. Now somewhat it
has subsided ..The days where I couldn't even gulp a cuppa water and
spent 3/4th of my office timings in the washroom... The physical
changes with the ugly pigmentation ..face covered with severe
pregnancy acne .. the sleepless nights where you struggle to get at
least half an hour nap, innumerous visits to the loo, the shifts in
positions to sleep , the worst leg cramps while you see your hubby
snoring,sleeping on his tummy , like a baby and do you know the angst
I get ..Then I make V to get up.. V gets up , searches for his specs
and then presses my legs ,and tells me " Aah now you are ok..go to
sleep..or else you will have swellings in your eyes tomorrow " ..and
he goes back to his sleep , i spend my night staring at the ceiling ,
praying to god to give me at least 1 hour sleep , the hungry pangs in
between and then back to back to vomiting...Still thinking all these
are for my baby.. Special feeling inside me.. The joy of being a momma
to be ... :) :)
The next day as usual the same story at office , at home, same nights
with much severe disturbance to V from me .. But luckily I have got
work from home option, I am working from home these days so thought of
getting back to my blogosphere... So here i am .. in ' Methods to my
madness ' ..
Pray for us friends ..Take care ..