Saturday, May 22, 2010

PARDESI TWIST ....

One fine afternoon...I was feeling sleepy...All of a sudden ma mom declared that I should join her to her friend’s house...GRRRRRRRRR…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…I said...But after a lot of persuasions and threats I went with her...The host is ma amma’s friend whose son is back home after being abroad for sometime...He is ma childhood buddy...But after 2nd standard we departed as his father got transfer to Calicut and later this child hood bandha moved abroad for his MBA..

We entered the house as the aunt came greeting us...we sat in the sofa that the usual comment came “Chechi...Sangita has grown up...Years passed just like that Na?”...I sat there smiling as ma eyes ran over the photos and trophies kept in the show case...Amma and aunty got busy in the conversation..So I got up to see the photos kept there...As I was reading one of the trophies there came the aunt’s voice...”U know titu (her son) got that for football match...” I said “ok good “...As ma eyes moved on to the next, there came again “Titu got it for the debate in twelfth”... ”ok...Nice aunty”...I replied...I knew if I dared to go for the next trophies I would have to be in the the “prize distribution name calling scenes” again and again...So I came back to ma seat...Still I could hear again and again “Tittu did that, Tittu did this...”HMMM...I was so bored that I asked “Amma can we move?”..

Aunty came with a sweet smile “Sangita has come home after long...And am seeing ma friend (my amma) after a long time..We have a lot to talk...And you haven’t met tittu Na? Wait he will be back...Went to his friend...”...”ok “ I sighed…I was thinking what to think….There was an aquarium near to me...so I went and gazed at the golden fish in it..

There came our hero “tittu”…A fair lean guy, hmmm 5 9” I guess, donning a goatie and spiked hair appeared…He saw me, smiled and went to his room upstairs...Aunty came calling “Tittu… Come down fast...Sangita and aunty have come after long time...” “Wait moms...Am changing...” Came the reply...TADAA... Pardesi baabu was rolling up his sleeves while he was coming down…He rushed to the divan kept in the drawing hall and asked me “Sangita right? It’s been years since I met u...Right? ”… I thought to myself ”yeh right ka baccha GRRRRRR”... I said “yes “... He went to the kitchen, had a chit chat there and came back with pappads in his hand...He came to me and gave me one...I was about to say “No thanks I usually don’t have oily foods”...But thinking about this “right ka baccha” I received it...Aunty and amma came “Monu do u remember sangita...??Whom you used to call “sangeee”?? ”and both of them laughed...The right ka baccha laughed and nodded; so I gave a fake smile…”Sangee is bored...Show her our house “…“its ok auntie...”

“Come on, I will show you around “He invited ...I went to rooms one by one...He talked to me about he culture both Indian and American, food, education, football match, restaurants and blabla..The guy is smart I thought…He showed me his room...I could say it was so neatly and orderly arranged and his comment on his room was like “You know it’s a boy’s room… So don’t expect neatness and arrangement like you girls“...I thought “Abhe right k Bache...If you enter ma room you would think you have entered a forest “...We sat in the sofa and he asked me “Why are you quiet? Ask me something Sangita, I remember you as a chatter box...Well you are so silent now...You are an IT ian now and IT guys do speak a lot I guess …Is this some sort of a starting problem? “... “Well umm so you have grown up… ummm... You have a moustache and goatie now “...He giggled and said “uhh yes ...Well you have also...You have turned into o a beautiful swan “… I thought “what does it mean? That I was an ugly duckling? Anyways “...I giggled...

We joined aunty and amma in the drawing hall …They were talking about everything under the sun I guess. The topic then was old age homes ... Aunt was telling “You know Pushpa (ma amma), the old age homes where today’s children dump their parents? Weird places where there are no facilities or proper food...I know I read an article about this”...Ma amma and I were listening to it while the tittu’s comment came all of a sudden “Don’t worry mamma, when I go to get you guys admitted therein old age homes, I will damn make sure that it’s facilities are of five stars’ “… WHACK!!!!!!!!!….

I and amma couldn’t stop laughing …While the aunt sat there sweating profusely…..Pardesi baabu was stretching his legs then….

Monday, May 17, 2010

PASSION AND THREE IDIOTS ..

Saw three idiots yesterday...Yes after a long time after it was released…I have the habit of downloading movies and keeping it in the folders for long...Never have a glimpse of it then…After several months I watch the movie..What is the use or thrill in that?? Don’t know...

I laughed a lot watching the Chatur’s speech...Laughed to an extent that ma amma came to ma room and said “you have gone mad”…And about the moral the movie gives...Weise I don’t know how far it is practicable “To strive for excellence and not mere success”...I had a talk with ma friend one fine day and we discussed about life, profession and the dreams he had for his job..That time I had just resigned from ma previous job and he asked me what next...To be frank I was so speechless that I said “I don’t know...”…Then he asked me to watch three idiots ...But after watching the movie nothing has changed in me...Is it a bad news or good one I don’t know...I have always tried to learn something new in ma life everyday even though the gyaan is from a different arena from what I studied …I remember yet another person who asked me to watch three idiots..The person could be termed as a damn fool in his life as he has a measure for everything...A yardstick for measuring everyone...Even human beings and their feelings…and the most funniest thing is that he advised me to follow excellence...Heeeeee...thinking of the words “Human beings are just so different; they always advise you to seek help from them when we need; and when we ask them for help they end up showering us with advices”..Well that dumb*** is off ma life now...Thank god...

So back to three idiots...How can be it applied to ma life? What am I passionate about ?Am passionate about everything and nothing in the world...By profession am an electrical engineer who landed up in the land of coding, software engineering...But what do I wish to become at the end of the day??...I still don’t know...I don’t like electrical or information field...Its not I don’t like it...I lack the passion, the enthusiasm that I ought to have for those fields...Feeling strange...Yeah It’s strange...I discussed this with ma amma...She got confused and declared “what do you want to do in your life then? To live in today’s world man and wife should earn well “...I said “But amma, earning is not ma passion”
Dad responded all of a sudden “What about being a House wife? Do u wish to be one?”
Mom said “Very good option…I have been in that profession for the past 33 years...And that too without salary”
I replied “Stop it guys...You won’t understand “

I went to ma bros...I told him the entire story so far...He got mad and he shouted “you don’t wish to be in Electrical and IT, though you could do well in both fields ...Hmm...Better you join a call centre”
Heee……under employment I know...But still hmmm...

One night I thought about all the passions I had from childhood...
1. In 6th standard I wanted to be an archaeologist...Then that wish got buried I don’t know how…
2. In 8 Th standard I wanted to be a beautician, still I didn’t make up ma mind…
3. In 10 Th I decided I need to be a fashion designer, but that design didn’t get appreciation …
4. In 12th wanted to be a singer, but ma song never released …
5. At engineering first year wanted to be a doctor; But why? Still I don’t know...
6. In 2nd year wanted to be an astronaut…
7. In 3rd year wanted to be air hostess…
8. In 4 Th year wanted to be an IFS officer…

By the time I dreamt off all these I was given the bachelor’s degree with first class, how come? Don’t know...What is ma passion bhagwaan? Pls help...I prayed lot that night...I knew I was not aimless and that I am talented...

Next day morning I received enlightment...MBA, HR MANAGER...a friend of mine suggested:”why don’t you do MBA...HR manager??”WOW...even I thought about the same…he he...Yippee…I got ma passion…I told about ma passion to ma brother...
He told me “MBA? HR? It’s not creative...you should opt something related to what you studied”
Tadaaaaaaaa...Just see how water falls on ma dreams every time…it took me 23 years to find out what ma passion is and now this...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I talked to ma friend that evening...She told me “MBA? HR? R you mad? Try something like IT...SYSTEMS...Do u wish to be a house wife? Is that why you r opting HR? No man you shouldn’t opt for that”…GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR again…

That day I decided NO I would be an HR by profession and will try for IFS for sure...I wont lend ma ears to anyone from now...Its ma life...It’s now or never...

Saturday, May 15, 2010

QUESTIONS..

Can you take me to a matrix world where I can see everything in three dimension?
Will you ask me again to walk over the burning coal saying that it won’t hurt if you have faith?
Will it hurt if your lips are sewed together with the thread of your life?
Will your heart beat even if its taken out from your body with ma hand?
Are you saying something now, or am I hallucinating?
Why are your eyes bleeding, have they drained out of tears?
What are you yelling at? Are you trying to say something?
Can’t u keep quite for god sake as I tell you,
“YOU DUMB DEAF AND BLIND!!!!! “

SNORING AND TALAAQ ...

As ma cousins had come from Chennai for the International Chess Tournament ma room was occupied by them…so I shifted to ma parent’s room as a refugee... The heat is unbearable here that I decided to sleep on the floor…Heat was keeping me off from sleeping…I felt like am put in an oven and made to bake...I stared upon the ceiling where trees and plants made scary images with their shadows as they moved with the breeze outside..I was feeling sleepy after sometime...Suddenly I heard “gurrrrrrrrrr gurrrrrrrr gurrrrrr”... I got up and looked around...The owner of the strange sound was ma acchan...

”accha …”I cried out..
acchan woke up and asked “what ?”
“You are snoring...I can’t sleep”
“Who? I? I am not snoring. You might have heard some other noise”

Telling that ma acchan again went to sleep...I closed ma eyes and now ma whole concentration was to find out where the noise came from...I lost ma sleep...I had ma ears sharpened …Walah..There came the “gurrr gurr”again...I woke up without making noise and switched on the lights...TADAAAAAAA...There was ma acchan sleeping, the proud owner of “gurrr”...I knew ma acchan won’t believe again, so I took his mobile and captured a snoring video and shouted “acchaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”..Dad woke up rubbing his eyes...

“What?”
“You are snoring again”
“Who? Me? No ways”
“I have the proof “
“What proof?”
“Just see this “

I handed him the mobile and he saw the video and he was going like “aaaaaaaaaah hmmmmmm huhhhhhhh”..Just then ma amma woke up and asked “what the hell is going on? Don’t you wish to sleep? Putting on lights at 1 am?? Sleep now”
I said “acchan is snoring; I couldn’t sleep “
Ma mom asked me “What if your husband snores every night when you sleep? What will you do? Wake up and ask him to stop it now and then????”
I answered “It’s as simple as that “
Dad asked “As simple as what? What would you tell him?”
Without a second thought I shouted “talaaq talaaq talaaq (divorce divorce divorce)...As simple as that “
Ma dad started laughing and told me “Nonsense kahikiiii...Go to sleep...I won’t snore”…..

SUMMER ,ME AND MANGOES...

Its damn hot here...Its like the sun rises in Kerala and doesn’t like to set...Unbearable heat, sweating, perspiration, body odour, thirst, dry hands, body, hair and legs...You name it we have it here..I have taken a new diversion...I am eating a lot these days...Just to put on weight...Ma mom remarked that I look like an 18 year old as I have become so lean and tired...So ma main hobby is eating...No distinct menu or favorites..Can eat anything as far as it is edible...So I can be compared to a goat that chews 24*7...Well I don’t eat posters and banana peels like goats he he...

Its mango season in Kerala and as we have more than 5 types of mango trees in ma home with both riped and unripe mangoes, they could be ma breakfast, lunch and dinner...I like raw mangoes sprinkled with salt and red chilly powder...Yummy!!!!!!!!!!! I have water for sailing seven ships in ma mouth now...Just love the combination...As I start eating mangoes, I keep on eating that ma dad warned me “mangoes are also having a lot of heat content…This is summer…If you don’t control it you would end up sitting in the pilgrimage centre” (hope you all got the meaning : P: P

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

WILL THERE BE A DAY?

I had  steamed green gram mixed with jaggery and grated coconut for breakfast this morning.What have I become?Health conscious?naa..I don't think so..A miser?No I guess..Apart from ma thoughts am now having tummy ache..Ouch!!!!!!The green gram has given me gastritis I guess :(:(..Gulped arishtam now..Feel like I am thinking so much these days..the topics do vary from micro organisms to global warming..Are these cramps their after effects?I know our mind and body is interrelated...Got on ma nerves yesterday all over again after a long time..So had a very bad headache..:(:(..Went to sleep after a long time..Went to bed but didn't sleep..kept staring at the ceiling thinking of the void mind..
Will there be day  when I wake up to the hollowness and emptiness of ma mind?
Will there be a day where I wake up just to find out that I no more exists?
Will there be a day where I realize that humans no more survive in this world?
Will there be a day when I can say "I am living ma life to its fullest"?
Will there be a day when  I can have the world of true love,sincerity and honesty???

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

A LIL RELIEF..

At-last kasab is found guilty..Thank god..I had thought that he would  find some kind of loop hole and would escape..But am grateful to the Indian courts and law who found him guilty..I read 86 charges were against him..Saw news regarding his case where he has requested the court to give him mutton biriyani, basmati rice,Quran..GRRRRRRRRRR....And he has acted very well saying that he is innocent..And today when the hearing was going on,he had stood like nothing great has happened!!
                        It was during ma first job that the Mumbai terror attacks happened..As ma cousins were there in Mumbai, ma whole family was shaken..And we were frantically contacting them just to make sure that they were safe..I still remember the hours I spent in front of the TV with ma eyes filled not just thinking about ma cousins but about my  brothers and sisters of India and other countries who lost their lives and our brave soldiers and jawans like MAJOR SANDEEP UNNIKRISHNAN,HEMANT KARKARE,VIJAY SALASKAR and many more who sacrificed their lives for the nation..We went to Mumbai in December and I asked ma dad to take me 2 the VT station..Saw all the cabins where people hid from the terrorists,I closed ma eyes and felt the innocent  kids,men and women running for their lives,their cries,pains..The fear of death in their eyes..The fear of losing their dear ones..I could feel it all and ma blood boiled thinking of all the terrorists ruining my India..I read they didn't spare anything that moved..Even dogs in TAJ HOTEL were shot to death..!!!!! I wish  I had AK 47 with me to shoot down all the nasty flies and eradicate terrorism from ma nation..I might sound kiddish..But these are the words from ma heart..
                    So many things have changed I realise after the 26/11 attacks ..All muslim brothers are considered as terrorits or portaryed as terrorists and many families have been humiliated based on this..When can I get ma India free from the  venomous cancer of terrorism that spreads to all  parts of ma nation???When will our India be saved??

Monday, May 03, 2010

CRY AGAIN..:(:(

Feeling not so well today..but not  moody..no physical pain,no mental worries ..Just a feeling that I am not feeling well..Thought about the day I cried the last time..hmmm...I have seen always mothers asking their baby boys not to cry right from the time when they are young and telling "boys won't cry..You ought to be a man and men don't cry.."Strange!!!But gals yell out "Mummyyyyyyyyyyyy..."Even I was like that when I was young :):):)..Men  hear this advice every time they feel like bursting out and keep all their worries and tensions inside and one day their heart fails to overcome the pressure of their mind thus heart arrest and stroke results and they leave the world making others cry..I am not saying this is the case of every man..But such cases do occur....I have decided I would advise ma sons (arrey probability heinaa!) to cry aloud..Its also a guy thing.. I have cried at all unnecessary things so far..Ma tear glands won't work at the right time..But now I laugh thinking about the times I have cried..:):):)
        I used to cry aloud long ago..As time passed by,I learnt to keep everything in ma mind and  to control ma tears,built flood sheds and it often transformed to a phase where I had silent thoughts and even if I burst out it results in wetting ma pillow with ma tears..Now a days am used to reports like a 19 year old boy has died of heart arrest ,29 year old,15 year old..hmm..huh...But  women having cardiac arrests is less when compared to men..So what's the difference here?Every time I think of that I feel scared of having a heart attack..I should cry aloud..Throw out all ma emotions,crib,curse,feelings...:):):P..Join me..Lets cry out....

Sunday, May 02, 2010

ATTESTATION...

It was a lazy day(as usual)..I heard the usual alarm that alarms without giving any key previous night or whose volume i can't reduce,which I cant snooze..If you are in the same condition as mine ,don't think too hard..The alarm is no one other than ma AMMA..everyday I wake up with her "anu enikkkkkkkkkkuuuuu(anu wake..up)..."..And the most unfortunate case is that I get dreams only in the early morning..I would be smiling or crying in the dream..And suddenly ma amma's call would kick me out of ma dream when I get up, feeling that ma heart is thumping at an alarming rate...Devangelic once asked me"at what time do u wake up in the morning?"..I said "It depends "..Devangelic again asked "depends upon what?"..I said "It depends upon me":):):)..
                I had to attest ma certificates for an interview...I woke up,got ready and headed to the gusseted officer...It was a hospital and I had to get attestation from the doctor there...The moment I entered the gate,I could get the nasty smell of medicines and phenol...I sat in the chair there,arranged ma certificates in order and went into the building..I could sense the odour ,the hospital odour or smell nearing ma nose..There was a young lady who raised her brows to me as if asking "What the hell do u want ?"..I was the most humblest creature on the earth at that moment and I spoke out in  a feeble voice "Got to attest..Is the doctor in ?"..She gave me a weird look and said "Go in and ask if she can do it ?"..What the hell?Did I ask her to give me her MBBS?God !!!!!I went in ...
            Not again..The smell of phenol pierced ma nose deep down to ma pharynx and throat..I looked around..There were posters for TB and leprosy  patients stating out the symptoms and various levels of treatments..I read every line carefully and checked if I had any of those symptoms...NAA..I am free..Thank God...
                I had ma eyes off the posters  that I saw 3 pair of eyes staring at me..it was of 2 women and 1 man..The women were pregnant and the man was one of the women's hubby..I thought..Might be they have come for checkups..And then I understood the meaning of the stare they gave me...NO NO..neither am pregnant nor am here to abort..NAA..I took out ma certificates and put it on the bench on which I was sitting so that they could read that...The couple went inside first..And then the other woman..
                      I saw the immunization room and  was so curious to see what was going on inside..As I got up and marched forward  i saw the woman coming out..So it was ma chance..I went in ..It was a lady doctor..I examined the lady..She wore a nose ring and it suited her face..I wished to have her stethoscope around ma neck so that i could hear ma heart beat..She looked at me and asked "what?"..Ma same words"Wanted to attest"and I took out ma certificates and she gave ma fiery stare and asked "This much?"..I sheepishly smiled and answered "yes.."
           I saw the least interesting woman in this world then..She was signing it just for the sake of doing it and meanwhile to escape from her looks I looked everywhere else in the room..Saw  charts of  reproduction, immunization,diet charts,diabetic analysis charts and many more. There were piles of files on her table about which I felt nice.Ma mom always used to shout at  me for the cleanliness of ma room..Any one could get nails,paper pins,camera,books ,papers,paper planes and ma Amma says that she would catch a snake from ma room 1 day if this condition persists..he he..:):)
                             "OH NOOOOOOOOOOO"...I startled to see why the lady doctor is yelling..God damn!She had signed on ma original mark-list of ma sixth semester..I didn't know what to do then CRY or LAUGH??..She was asking me "What to do now?It was a bundle of mark-lists..No other doctor would agree to such an attestation..I had told everyone just to give me the marklists needed..No originals..You see what happened!!!!!!!!"..GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....She was getting on ma nerves..Not only did she signed on ma originals and above that  she was blaming me and giving justifications for that...If ma heart had a loud speaker,she would have had a heart attack listening to whatever i had in ma heart then...*/%&*@#-**//
 She finished her job and I said "thanks a lot"and I came out,got the seal and I walked out..Completing the posts with a few embarrassing medical exams mails i got now..


1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . .
'My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab.' 
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress and began to take off her underwear.
       
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - -
and I was in the wrong one.
 

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald,
San Francisco
 
2... At the beginning of my shift 
I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
 
and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
 

'Big breaths,'. . .  I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,'. . . replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,
Seattle , WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad
news when I told a wife that her husband had
died of a massive myocardial infarct.

Not more than five minutes later, I heard her
reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

and this one is ultimate...

Baby's First Doctor Visit 

 I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
'Breast-fed, ' she replied...

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.

 She did. He pinched her breasts , pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both  for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

 Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

‘I know,’ she said, ‘I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came.......’

Saturday, May 01, 2010

CONCERNED!!!!!!!!!!!!

I attended ma classmate's wedding a few days back..It was fun ..To be with our friends after a while,to meet classmates and see ma classmate as a bride ..The bride- groom were  so cute as they were very short..The guy could be 5 2" and the bride could be 4 11".. Running commentaries were  made on the cute couple..We really enjoyed the wedding..I was trying to have a snap of the couple as the photographers blocked ma view..Meanwhile a comment came from behind from ma friend like " Huh i feel like i have seen a child marriage"..We all laughed and we went for the photo sessions and the sadya after that..                                                   As soon as we finished our lunch,we felt terrible in the hot sun that too after a heavy lunch..We came out for some fresh air...The bride's sister and her friends were having fun too.Meanwhile a friend of hers came to her and asked " Lathika(name changed) Wat's ur friend's name?Is she in orkut ?"...We turned around to see the guy of 6th standard asking this...Mean while lathika replied.."Why don't you ask her directly?She is here na?"..And there were the romantic hero's friends' making noises..Meanwhile we had a glance at her friend..She was so shy that her face reddened,her hands making knots in  the chunni of her friend..HA HA..We felt so funny ..We laughed ..Meanwhile ma friend felt frustratingly sad ..
she:yaar in which class are they?
     i: I guess in 6 th standard..
she:6 th standard?And they started asking out for gals.?
     i: ha ha..why ?Even lkg and prekg students have girl friends these days...
she: How old am I ?
     i:   24!Why?what happened ?
she: Huh well...After seeing these ,I feel like I am 42!!!!!!!